A BIOGRAPHY OF CELLS 

The buzzing in my ears returned again.
I must admit that it was lonely here without it.
There's currents humming just beneath my skin
I read a scientific study all about it.
And this apartment's growing stale again
The radiator has expressed its disapproval
But I will keep the entries chained and barred
Disregarding all requests for my removal
I hypothesized a life comprised of colored boxes
Cradle to the classroom to the chapel to the coffin
And you were horrified that I'd assigned you a biography of cells
You're up early for a Saturday
And it appears as if your family came to visit
Unemployment suits you all too well
You changed your address but I can't make out the digits
And someone pretty thanks you for the drink
And yes it's tragic that I have this information
But don't you owe me some small recompense?
If only cheap and easy forms of entertainment
And yes it stings to see your name shine out from colored boxes
Ugly and predictable and comforting and toxic
But I need something to distract me from this biography of cells
Thank you kindly but I know plenty of people already
One for each of many neat and tidy categories
See the dishes pile up, see the paint begin to peel
I won't shy from my defeat
It's a livable disease
Someone's lover treads the boards for me
Shrunk to fit within the confines of the casings
And I will keep his image close at hand
For all those moments when my memories need erasing
Why should I brave slings and arrows?
Bow my head against the onslaught of the ages
When I can have the ages brought to me
Hand delivered while the universe around me rages
When I look too close it all dissolves to colored boxes
Pixilating inward and I'm thinking I should stop this
But I'm still looking for my next cage
I'm still looking for my next cage...
Don't much feel like going out today
Think I'll just stay home


PROOF OF MOVEMENT

Hurry up and wait
Breathe their plastic scented air
This atmosphere is so peculiar...
Staring off in space
Popping pills to keep you sane
Suspended in this state of danger
You are up above the downpour where the vapor meets the sun
You're wasting three hours, gaining only one
You're decades out of practice for the week to come
Ready set and wait
What's your hurry, where've you gone?
They've given you no proof of movement
Over blinding waves
You can seem them rolling by
But that silver lining keeps its distance
Let the boredom overtake you, you've got everything you need
You're powerless to pick up any speed
Your pace is predetermined. And you've lost your lead.
Sit down, Stand out
Hell bent, House proud
Shouting out loud...
Shouldn't I be someone else by now?
Settle in and wait
For the machinery to fail
The earth will be so pleased to meet you
When your logic strays 
Is it racing toward the fall?
A prophet with no soul to preach to.
And if the body starts to rattle, if the nose begins to dive 
The numbers say you're gonna be just fine
But rules come with exceptions. Could be you this time.
The coming of age came later than the textbooks said it would
The skeleton years sound greater when you call them "making good"
Were you thinking you could join the 27s?
Count your blessings that you never earned the right to die young
Grip the armrest in an episode of prescience
Imagining the aftermath of what could go wrong
Will they burn you in your prettiest of dresses?
Will they gather with your praises hanging off of their tongues?
Will they honor you to stave off the forgetting?
They'll forget you when the drama finally starts to wear off
Wipe his image from your mind! He won't be notified.
Eventually your story makes the rounds and he is 
Dumbfounded, squinting at some mutual acquaintance
He takes a drag, thinks, "Isn't that too bad?"
Of all the things to dream about...
Calm your pulse. Count the clouds.
Now the air begins to tighten.
And the wheels touch the ground
And you see the past approaching
And your sister's hair is dark now
And your brother's getting tall.


20 PACES

I've got the benefit of hindsight
And rearview mirrors under blacklight
And I can see you tracking me through bottles and through grass
You think you've found yourself a live one
The bass line heralds your arrival 
And I divine the future in the bottom of my glass.
You're gonna beg my pardon
You're gonna bear me witness
You're gonna buy me medication
You're gonna picture me in laces
Bound up and breathless and abrasive
And you know better than to venture unprepared
Take up your hammer and your chisel
And pry apart each tiny fissure
Keep digging darling, there's a dream in me somewhere
And when she's been uncovered
When you've got her cornered
Let the conversation take her down
You are just another pretty face.
Whatcha gonna do when that fades?
You better get out there and get yourself a trophy now
Before it's too late before it's too late before it's too late.
I'll turn and walk your twenty paces
Don't underestimate my patience
By the time you've fired I'll have crippled you and fled


MUSE

Write me down, I'd like to see how I compare on paper
Make a record of my witch's laugh and bitten fingers
Look across the table at me, tell me what you see
As it happens, I've been living in your sentences for days
Read between the lines and find me in the details
You ask me what I think, my sheets are all stained with ink.
So fold this up and keep it safe
Let a pencil mark my place
But I won't let you be how next year remembers me
Honey don't wait, everything gets erased
Listen for your echoes in the melodies I've found
See I've got songs I sing on days you're not around
But every time the notes betray me, every time the lyrics fail me
Cause no kisses are ever more than sugar sweet
No affection is ever more than river deep
If love is so important, why can't we think of better words for it?
We are each of us exquisite corpses
Needles into houses into highways into horses
So many hands to blame for the way we're made
A never ending chain of "Hey, you wanna be my muse?"
All our heroes drank here, yeah they were young once
Scratching out their sorrows, trying to prove that they were someones
And crawling through the Village he is writing their obituaries
But I'm going down with the legends, lover.
I'm going down with the legends, lover.
I'm going down with the legends, lover.
Yeah I'm going down...
On into hell and the history books we go. 
I only want the ones who sing the blues...
Hey, you wanna be my muse?


TRUE BELIEVERS

If you were looking, you could find me down among the merchants
In the temple, with all the other lambs
Deafened by the oracles who sing our fortunes
Amplified a thousand times
Seeking scripture in the records and the t-shirts
All their teachings written in these threads
We are here to be made into true believers
We are skeptics, nothing if not regretted
Never the less we are ever so pleased with ourselves
Came to be seen and we stayed for the show
Coming together to stand here alone
Here comes our next redemption
Sing a song for the lost, for the losers
Nameless, faceless, faithless, milling endlessly
I pray somehow my soul to keep
Have another round of tired hallelujahs
We have no use for the vacant time
Listen close, they are giving us all the answers
So young, so wild, to be so wise
Blessed the fools, we know not what we do not know.
Came to be seen and we stayed for the show
Coming together to stand here alone
Dance in your red flower dress
Show them how free you are
You must feel more than I do
Show them how free you are
And if you're lonely I will meet you down along the fringes
I will lead you to the center of the fray
Every head's gonna turn in the same direction
Shake and shiver, and wait to be swayed
Never mind that no one can see anything
No none of us see anything
No none of us see anything
We are here to be made into true believers...
And when they turn on the searchlights they'll find me
And I'll be saved.


HIDEOUS/ADORABLE

I tuck my chin
Can't keep it up anymore
Suddenly certain we two are perfect
From shoulder to floor
Dressed like we meant it...
Off with our heads!
We are kitsch, we are hideous/adorable
Available for sale on Salvation Army bargain tables
Put us on the mantle ladies, one on either side,
Watch while we don't collide
Watch while we don't collide
Consider your fate
Deprived of my good opinion
Left with no token poet your pages fade
They pale in meaning
And they'll paint you over
Bold to beige
So go nowhere, don't wander off away from me
Heartless romantic, oh paragon of apathy
All your humanity slackens by the hour
Keep yourself in my regard
Keep yourself in my regard
Did you know I was in among your men tonight?
Gathering intelligence I'd never get on my own
They rallied, they tried to fell me
But you could have told them that I was too low to bring down
Once we were embittered accomplices
Two against all and the masters of none
Then you talked your way up to oppressor
I charted your progress from down in the mud
Now I'm here for the one you threw over 
His final testament, personal effects
I am dressed in black for your last identity
You can't see me, you can't see because
Murders are circling around you, they'll block out the sun
And they'll rip you to pieces and scatter the scraps when they're done
They are swarming, they are starving
They are out on their daddy's cards
And you're all too obliging
And I'm getting tired
Lying crushed beneath these hungry little nothings
You've got hundreds of them, beaming, wanting
How'd you manage it, as wretched as you are?
Took your chances on that black dog offer


BETTER OFF MY WAY

"Come clean, however fatal are your flaws"
You plead, so certain you can weather my response
Your questions just strengthen my resolve
Scowling and defiant
I'm so rarely silent
You should take advantage
I encourage it
Just try, you'll see how we are better off my way
I'll hide buried in your chest until it's safe
Your sweater presses wrinkles in my face
Older every second
I'm older every second
I've always been wiser than you
Can't lose the battles if you wage them in your mind
Abuse of power comes at such a price
So solemn, well I am not surprised
Spotlight on the shoreline
I caught every warning
I saw this coming
Yeah I saw this coming
I stand ankle deep in the harbor
Dressed in my very best green copper gown
Watching the ships sail by
I bear this fire with pride
Stone cold, nobody's fool

NOCTURNE
Tonight I'll be a good girl
Clean conscience, sterile days
Hush little baby, don't say a word
Your mockingbird is surely on its way
Heavy the head, lengthy the wait
The flesh is willing but the spirit's wide awake
The kitchen's blinking midnight
Every minute New Year's Eve
And I'm counting down by headlights
To the hour when the alarm bells start to scream
Heavy the head, lengthy the wait
The flesh is willing but the spirit's wide awake
Close your eyes, whisper what you wish you'd said at the time
Where were those words when I needed them?
Realize I'm right where I'm supposed to be
I'm not missing anything and nothing's missing me
This record has some damage
Same song for some time now
It turns through skips and scratches
While I try to keep the volume down
I could show you a spiral, you ain't seen nothing yet
Lift the needle please and leave me a weak and empty head
I can't sleep, I see threats on every side
No retreat once the next attack arrives
Stalwart on, braving all tomorrow's wars...
I'll never love anyone like I love being lonely in New York
Hush little baby, don't say a word


THE PARTY FAITHFUL

(If I'm gonna be up anyway, I guess I may as well be out.)
Step right up my friends, you've stumbled on the main event
Invented to determine who can have the better time
This game's anyone's, your former favorite reveler
Hasn't had enough to be considered for the prize
And I am bored and boring, 
Competition pouring in from every door
With the pressure soaring comes the question
"What next? What for?"
What's the point in waiting idly at the starting gate
When you know and I know that everyone shows up late
Saunter in and watch the spectacle begin again
Sitting front and center and surrendering my escape
Play the latest noise, hysterical and paranoid
No amount of spirits could have summoned me to dance
Banished to the side, abandoning my gimlet eyes
If only this were television I might stand a chance
Something south of beauty
It's my duty to be clever as I can
Let the venom soothe me until it kills me
Bonne chance. Some plan.
What's the point of seeking pleasure in the pageantry 
When you know and I know that none of them came for me
Start the cheer and see the party faithful gather here
Trapped beneath the mirror ball for all of the world to see
All the money you don't have you spend on books that you don't read
Leave them out to be impressive for the company
(If there's company)
Preening in our fading feathers, fraying wools, and graying leathers
Admire us! Identical and visceral
...individuals
Let's document the present like we did the past!
Let's glorify our sins and then ignore the rest!
We're the walking wounded
On the lookout for whatever cures us next
Every blessed movement written for us in italics
(Takes stage)
(Breaks down)
(Fucks up)
(Shakes fist)
What's the point of trying to rise above this pantomime
When you know and I know that none of us are getting out alive?
Yeah you know, and I know
(that I'll be seeing you in all the old familiar places)


JORDAN BAKER

I'm taking this evening to tomorrow
I'm holding its hand and pulling it through somehow
Telling you all my cardinal virtues
Bet you know them all by heart by now
Crowds like this keep all your secrets
And girls like me, we make for great mistakes
So sit with ankles crossed and watch for day to come
If it breaks, then it breaks
You promised that you would be careful for both of us
That's why I like you
Let the clocks and the cameras click on
Steal this time cause silence is coming soon
Pictures of the same ten people
Taken in the same four rooms
This is a picture of me unaware
Don't you think I look prettier posed?
The moment was lost in the moment you took to try to take it
Maybe so. Even so...
You promised that you would be careful for both of us
That's why I like you
We have no way of knowing if it ever gets better than this
Outside the window the empire is falling
The song of the sirens is playing us out
Whisper goodnight to the valley of ashes
Goodnight to the damned and the devout
But call this a cause for celebration
Gather around with your family and friends
All of us raising our glasses
Patiently wait for this crash
Let it end when it ends
You promised that you would be careful for both of us
That's why I like you
Have I mentioned I like you?
I like you
What was I saying earlier?
Hell whatever, never mind
Never mind...